A hookup and dating site-phenomena
Everyone knows it is a little more difficult for a man to hook up with a woman than for a woman to attract a man’s attention.
A bright mind that can equalize the chances of both sexes for an easy date, pleasant flirtation, and development of relationships – for a one-night stand or life – that person will make a great gift to humanity.
After much searching and experimentation, I have found a platform that has managed to cope with such a difficult task and created the best dating site for mature men.
My name is Jerry Adams, and this is the fascinating story of the emergence and rise of one of the best platforms for intriguing flirting, casual sex, or living happily ever after – “FlirtForDate”, where a man’s chances of being in demand are no less than a woman’s.
I will tell you how the creators achieved this fantastic result and made the site perhaps one of the best dating sites for men over forty.
But first, here’s some general, albeit important, and interesting information.
The story begins
According to a detailed study by the Grand View Research portal (https://goo.su/PPsLnH) “Online Dating Market Size, Share & Trends Analysis Report By Platform (Application, Web Portals), By Revenue Generation (Subscription, Advertisement), By Region, And Segment Forecasts, 2023 – 2030”, as of 2022, the global online dating market was valued at approximately $9.65 billion and is projected to grow at a compound annual growth rate (CAGR) of 7.4% from 2023 to 2030.
FlirtForDate has reached its full capacity at perhaps the best time possible – this niche of dating sites, apps and hookup platforms is on the rise.
But it all started modestly. Launched in March 2017, FlirtForDate.com was a slow and steady beginner: online records of its growth show that the platform attracted just a little over one million subscribers in its first year from several major cities in Northern and Western Europe.
These were the areas where its marketing department targeted its ads. This is not surprising since the site’s headquarters were originally located in a three-room apartment in the Finnish city of Vantaa.
The founders – a couple of programmers, an advertiser, and a self-taught manager – named the company modestly so as not to say inexpressively: “Interactive Online Technologies”.
The restrained name of the company corresponded to the same site design – simple and ascetic, although this is not typical for dating sites and apps.
Reviews from the first users of that time made it clear that the new hookup platform was generally decent but not much different from competitors in the dating industry.
And regarding design attractiveness, it was entirely inferior to many bright and pretentious analogs promoted on the Internet.
If the company’s name was dull and meaningless, then the authors approached the dating site’s brand with all available care, attention, and strategic vision.
Legend has it that two of the four founders – an advertiser and a manager – almost came to blows before they could agree on the name. A couple of programmers had to separate the men who were heated up by the argument.
Many options were invented, written down, discussed, criticized, rejected, and thrown out.
One of the witnesses to the dispute said that there were even the most ridiculous options, like “Meet Date Sex”, “Meet For Sex”, “Love Date Site”, ”Hook Up It” and “Hook It Up”, “Catch The Match” and “Match For Catch”, “Meet Top Singles”, in a word, their imagination was off the charts.
Finally, only four options were put to a vote by all four participants in the discussion, and “FlirtForDate” was chosen by the majority of votes.
How to find date in America
At the end of 2019, the company’s main headquarters moved to the United States.
The management at that time already understood perfectly well that the most promising market was the United States.
Since then, the company’s administrative, advertising, and small research center have been based in Evanston, on the Wyoming-Utah border.
However, having moved overseas, the guys did not abandon their small Finnish office: the company bought the entire two-story building and installed its additional server capacity there.
At the time of this article’s publication, FlirtForDate reported tens of millions of registered users of both genders from all fifty states without exception, including Puerto Rico and Hawaii; it is popular in Finland, Canada, Mexico, Brazil, the UK, and a couple of other countries in Europe.
It must be admitted that this is a fantastic result for a dating site that doesn’t even have an app.
Increasing its user base several dozen times in eight years is an achievement that can’t be done with advertising alone; there has to be some unique feature, and the site has one.
Features of a hookup culture
Because the youngest of the founders was thirty-six years old when the site was launched, all of these gentlemen knew a thing or two about life, love, marriage, divorce, women and men.
One was happily married for the second time; another was a confirmed, principled, and cynical bachelor; a third was in the process of a difficult divorce, and the fourth was head over heels in love for the first time in his life.
At the same time, the guys did not forget the times of their youth and understood that young people get along quickly, but with age, it becomes increasingly challenging to meet and get along.
Based on this reasoning, the idea of shifting targeting and adjusting the site’s orientation to older people – to men forty-plus and to women over thirty – was born.
At first, this task was assigned to the advertising department. Still, the results were not the best: significant investments in advertising among the relevant audience did not pay off for a completely unexpected reason.
The number of male account registrations increased sharply, but the number of women on the site remained almost unchanged, or rather, their number grew noticeably slower than that of men.
This naturally led to men simply having no choice: there were noticeably fewer women, they found a partner on the site very quickly, and they often simply no longer needed the site’s services and closed their accounts. This led to an even greater bias on the site against the male audience.
This platform had an apparent crisis in meeting, dating, and hooking up.
Difficult times require radical decisions, urgent changes, and bold actions, so a group of friends-developers introduced three cardinal corrections that determined the entire future fate of this dating site and the peculiarities of dating culture in general.
Three solutions that changed dating sites forever
First, the parameters for searching and demonstrating users to each other were changed.
If earlier the site had an arbitrary freedom of searching by a geographic location entered by the user, now this option was replaced by an almost opposite principle: the developers introduced a complex system of triangulation and determining the location of a person with the sole purpose of automatically demonstrating to each other the profiles of people located near each other, within a 25-mile radius.
The old model – a comprehensive geographic search for anyone anywhere – was used by the vast majority of major players in the online dating market, which over time ceased to attract customers.
According to Sydney Bradley from Business Insider (https://goo.su/eyEc), it was in response to user dissatisfaction with the major services in terms of search strategy that unique dating formats began to appear, offering a search for potential partners based on triangulation and/or geolocation, using mechanics similar to Pokemon Go.
FlirtForDate.com was one of the pioneers of this revolutionary approach to matching and pairing.
This approach was much more effective and reasonable than the previous one.
On the one hand, users’ freedom of choice was noticeably narrowed, but now, people who connect on the site have a much better chance of meeting and dating in real life.
Think for yourself: why show a man from New York a personal profile of a woman from San Francisco?
And does it make sense for a woman from Seattle to try to meet a gentleman from Miami?
How will they meet each other after connecting on the site? What is the practical point in this?
But if both users are within a short car or public transportation distance, then this significantly increases the chances of finding a partner to visit a bar or – if you’re lucky – something more.
The second decision was even cooler than the first: the team decided to minimize advertising aimed at men and shifted the focus and almost the entire advertising budget to the female audience.
The site began to be presented to women as being filled to capacity with rich sugar daddies, single sponsors, unmarried machos and other male material for potential marriage or at least for a fun pastime.
As a result of these actions, the number of female accounts on the site doubled in seven months, almost equaling the number of male ones.
At the same time, the influx of men to the site practically did not decrease – word of mouth on social networks is still a thing, so the product advertised itself among men over forty looking for casual sex or serious relationships.
It all paid off: new clients came in, and the site developed a relaxed – one might even say playful – atmosphere.
After all, the platform’s audience attracted not teenagers, but young women and mature men, in other words, a contingent of people who know what they want from each other.
At this stage, yours truly discovered FlirtForDate.com and decided to explore the user experience and the platform’s inner workings.
To do so, I registered on the site, contacted technical support, introduced myself, provided my recommendations, and requested contact information for one of the more talkative developers.
I won’t reveal the name of this person (suffice it to say that he was one of the four founding fathers of the site), but he proudly told me about the third cardinal decision that their team made during the crisis.
A decision, which finally brought their dating site from a dull middling to the highest level of popularity in the corresponding segment and made it a top hookup site in the northern hemisphere.
Without any embarrassment – even openly reporting this – the site administration began to artificially maintain a certain ratio between the number of female and male accounts on the site: for every 100 male profiles there are 180 female ones, that is – 1 to 1.8.
The breakthrough
This simple technical solution was tested and implemented into the site’s algorithmic texture in mid-2020 – almost simultaneously with the start of the Covid lockdown in the US. And this coincidence also played a significant role.
The fact is that with the introduction of lockdowns, people lost the opportunity for live contact with each other in a typical environment: in a pub, in a club, at work, in transport, on the street – everyone sat at home, unable to meet a new person, or even just see their family and friends.
Human communication has become a luxury.
At the same time, the dating site provided the opportunity for at least some contact.
In addition, in private chats on this hookup platform, people could find out in advance about each other’s health, whether the person they wanted to meet was vaccinated, and finally arrange a meeting at someone’s home.
But the most important thing is that men became in great demand on this one of the best dating sites.
Any dude registering on the site instantly received a bunch of likes, several offers to meet and chat, and even a couple of phone numbers to boot.
All this happened simply because the dating site FlirtForDate.com has almost twice as many female accounts as male ones.
At that very time – in the fall of 2020 – I learned about the existence of this cool and popular dating and hookup site and started using it actively, I admit, for personal purposes at first, and not for detailed research.
As I learned much later, between June 2020 and August 2021, FlirtForDate.com tripled the number of its subscribers, which were already in the tens of millions of users, added three additional countries to its coverage area and entered the top five most popular dating sites on the North American continent.
I was one of those who joined the army of FlirtForDate users at that time.
It turned out that the dating platform blossomed and hit the mainstream at the most necessary and critical moment for both: its development and for its users – men and women looking for meetings, dates or light flirting.
In addition, this effective dating site is set up in such a way as to give people what they need in the most simple form.
This hookup site is best suited for men over forty, bachelors or those who are looking for dates after a divorce or unsuccessful romantic experience in the past.
Unlike the undisputed giants of the industry, which are among the top ten most visited in the world and often hide from the public the number of subscribers and countries of greatest coverage, the FlirtForDate website adheres to a policy of exceptional transparency.
According to open information, this platform for quick dating and meetings is already used by more than eighty million people in the world. Analysts predict that the site will reach the one hundred million mark by the end of 2025 – beginning of 2026.
Today, this site for matching and hooking up is most popular in the USA, Canada, Mexico, Brazil, Argentina and several Western European countries, such as Portugal, Spain, the Netherlands and of course Finland, the country where this site was created and where its four founding fathers, who still manage and develop the platform, come from.
Registration details and particulars
So, what is the actual process of registering and using this site?
First, follow the link https://flirtfordate.com. The site cover will open in front of you.
If you are already registered on the site, then to go inside you need to click on the “Login” button at the top right, enter the registered login-email and the password you created during registration, then click the big red button “Sign in”.
If you need to register, then first select your gender. If you are a man, then click on “Male”, and if you are a woman, then you need to click on the “Female” button.
If you have a Google account, you can register in one click with your account data.
Otherwise, enter your current email and create a password, which you should write down to the side so you don’t forget, or save it in an automatic password manager. After that, click on the “Create account” button.
Right after you do this, I recommend checking your email that you provided during registration and confirming this email by clicking on the corresponding button in the confirmation email you received.
This should be done right away, before you start filling out your profile, otherwise there may be confusion.
As soon as you do this, a pop-up message will appear at the top of the profile filling page that opens, recommending that you subscribe to receive messages from the site.
I recommend clicking on the “Subscribe” button so as not to miss responses from your future interlocutors and new messages from people on the site who like you.
Filling a profile and choosing a dating goal
After completing the initial registration process on the site, the user immediately finds himself inside his profile, which he must fill out in order to be able to move on, to proceed directly to the search for a suitable partner.
From personal experience, I know that filling the profile should be done with care and attention simply because it directly affects how effective your search will be, how quickly you will find a partner for yourself and what kind of women/men will show interest in you.
First, enter your name (just your name; do not use spaces, punctuation, or numbers), then select your birthday. After that, upload your photo. Preferably more than one.
To do this, click on the stylized image of a camera at the top of the page with the inscription “Upload photo” so that the option to upload images previously saved on your computer or in the phone memory appears, if you are visiting the site from a mobile device.
From my correspondence with the technical support department of the site, I know that you can upload images of only two formats – jpeg or png, and the weight of the photo should not exceed ten megabytes, in addition, there are size restrictions by pixels – 4096×4096, no more.
I strongly recommend that you approach the choice of your main, so to speak, formal photo very carefully. This is your showcase, this is what your potential partner of the opposite sex will see.
I understand that there is no need to persuade women to post pictures in which they look attractive, so this paragraph is for men.
Gentlemen, do not neglect the importance of this issue: the photo that you put on your profile avatar is the first thing that women who are looking for a mate on the site will see. And if your avatar is a photo of a half-naked hairy scarecrow with a sagging belly, your profile will be scrolled past with disgust.
Please note: the site has a double pre-moderation of images – first they are checked by AI, and then by the staff.
For photos of a pornographic nature you can get a permanent ban, and for uploading a photo of a celebrity (as well as for images with text) – a temporary ban with a warning to the email registered on the site.
I personally conducted several experiments – the moderators work conscientiously, so thoroughly that in the email they sent me they asked me politely, but persistently and unambiguously not to test their patience with my experiments anymore to avoid blocking my account.
I wisely stopped behaving like that, especially since I had already acquired the knowledge.
Since your email, name and birthday have already been entered by you during the registration process, now you need to choose the purpose of your acquaintance.
The site offers seven options to choose from: relations, flirt, starting a family, friendship, business contacts, travel and sports. Of course, you need to choose based on your preferences, but I will allow myself a little advice based on personal experience.
The thing is that I have been divorced for seven years and am not looking for a serious relationship, so I cannot say how effective this site is in terms of matching couples for a long and serious bond that is supposed to develop into marriage.
Therefore, I have never chosen the “relations” and “starting a family” options. The same goes for “sports” and “business contacts”, since I prefer to do exercises alone, and a dating site is the last place to find business contacts.
I will not even talk about the “friendship” option, since friendship between a man and a woman is only possible if one of them is gay.
At first, I chose “flirt” as the dating goal in my profile. This brought me some popularity among the female audience, but the vast majority of my contacts boiled down to romantic chatter on the site.
Only once did I manage to drag a pretty middle-aged brunette out on a short date in a nearby pub, but even this meeting ended with long conversations (or rather, her monologue) about how wonderful and self-sufficient she is. And that’s how we parted ways after I paid the bill for cocktails.
Then I decided to change my approach and chose “travel” as the dating goal in my profile. Almost immediately after that, everything changed dramatically.
For starters, the number of requests in my profile almost doubled.
But the main thing is that women themselves started offering to meet in this or that place outside the city, on a picnic, on a walk, in a word, the concept of “travel” is clearly interpreted very broadly on the site.
And that’s true: camping in a tent in the nearest forest for a campfire and fried tofu – isn’t that a trip? Indeed – most often I met women who wanted to go hiking together in the nearby hills.
Believe me, it wasn’t limited to just hiking, because nothing brings people together like a shared small adventure.
Over the next three months, I met seven (!) different women, most of whom weren’t looking for a long-term relationship, but just wanted to unwind, have fun, relax in pleasant company, and feel desired.
That’s exactly what I could give them, and what I was counting on myself. So if you’re not looking for a wife, choose “traveling,” you won’t regret it!
Selecting the desired age
Having chosen the purpose of the date, you can set – as it is said there – “My ideal person’s age”.
The developers of the site imply that you set a certain amplitude of the age of those women within which you are looking for your desired one.
It is assumed that your profile will be shown to women in the specified age range, and the profiles of women of suitable age will be shown to you.
The choice is provided between 18 and 70 years of age. By the way, I am describing the situation from a male point of view, but for female users of the site, the rules, conditions and recommendations are similar.
My experiments with this scale have shown the following results. First, the wider the range of your choice, the easier it is to find a date, even if the woman is not quite the age you would like.
To be fair, in my life I have often met melancholy teenagers, grumbling like old men, and young-at-heart pensioners, so you understand – the number on the birth certificate is a convention.
Secondly, the narrower the range you select, the lower the probability that it will be exactly followed.
For example, if you select the desired age from 24 to 47, then you will be shown profiles of women from 22 to 50, there will be a lot of profiles, because for purely geographical and statistical reasons there are many women of the specified age category around you.
Accordingly, you will have more chances to meet and get hooked up. And if you specify the age range of 33-35, then the algorithm will slip you women, let say, from about 27 to 40, there will be noticeably fewer profiles, the goals of meeting these ladies will most likely not coincide with yours, and so on.
In short, row with a wide seine and your catch will satisfy you, there will be a varied choice, interesting alternatives and rich prospects.
“About Me”
Many users often make two most common mistakes when filling out this section. Mistake number one: not filling out this section, leaving it blank.
I’ll be honest – this is probably the biggest mistake. The thing is that this section is literally created for self-promotion.
It is clear that other users of the site know absolutely nothing about you. All they see is your name, age and photo, so ignoring the “About Me” section is not only stupid, but also counterproductive.
As you know, in the modern world, a person is what he says about himself. So tell them about yourself!
Don’t be shy, such behavior won’t help on a dating site, on the contrary – it will harm. Women love confident, bright men who are not embarrassed to tell them about themselves.
Of course, women also love when men listen to them attentively, but we will get to this a little later.
Mistake number two (mostly men’s): filling the “About me” section with his phone number, email, link to Facebook/Instagram/Tiktok, home address, and loud orders to urgently call him, immediately write, drop everything and come to visit him at home.
This is not simply a mistake (especially for men). Such behavior is offensive for women who may be interested in you.
On the one hand, it seems that you can save time and money this way: she visited your profile, saw your phone number, and called. However, it does not work like that.
Women crave male initiative, not vice versa, so when my “About me” section initially for two months displayed “Here is my phone number, call me!” not only did no woman call me, but even those who at the beginning sent me a friendly smiley, disappeared almost immediately after that and did not respond to my replies.
So what should you write in the “About Me” section to make it work quickly and effectively? First of all, it depends on the purpose of your registration on the dating site.
For example, if you came here with the intention of find a wife, then in the “About Me” section you should tell about your work/profession, briefly formulate your plans for life, say that you love children and dream of building a cozy house with a lawn, getting a dog and raising triplets with a sweet, kind and thrifty woman. Something like that.
However, given the fact that this is the most suitable dating site for men over forty – single or divorced – for the purpose of a fleeting flirt (see the name of the site!), that is, for those who want to pick up a woman for a pleasant date with a new person, to go to a party or just for the sake of dating for sex, then in the “About me” column it is worth clearly stating these goals.
No need to hide them or try to mislead anyone. Adults differ from infantile teenagers in that they can clearly formulate their wishes and state them in a short, accessible form.
For example, in my profile in the section “About me” to this day it is written the following: “Free, childless, self-sufficient, financially secure, goal-oriented.
I travel a lot and like to spend time in an interesting, but small company, in other words, together with a nice companion.
If you want to have a good time with an erudite, generous and well-mannered man, then intrigue me with your first message.
If my answer intrigues you back, then we both will definitely not regret our acquaintance.” You can use this text of mine, I don’t mind, these few sentences in my profile brought me a lot of great mood and nice hookups.
In addition to the “About Me” section directly in your profile, there is a whole separate “About Me” folder in the menu under your avatar.
I emphasize – this folder is precisely an addition for the reason that, unlike the section in the profile, where you can write whatever you want, the folder contains a set of 21 questions that are very limited and do not reflect the full diversity of human nature.
At the same time, I still recommend answering the questions in this folder simply because for this you will automatically be credited with ten coins as a gift, which is very kind of the developers and the administration.
So, you answered 21 questions in the “About Me” folder, uploaded several of your beautiful and elegant photos in the “My Profile” section, selected the desired amplitude of the age of acquaintance there and filled in the “About Me” section with original text.
Feel free to click the “Save” button at the bottom of the page and embark on your romantic adventure!
Settings Menu
But before you start meeting hotties, I recommend you take a look at the “Settings” section. There are a couple of useful functions that are worth setting up from the very beginning.
In addition to the ability to change the current password to another or delete your account, the “Settings” menu has two switches for turning on/off notification delivery: push notifications and notifications sent by the site to email.
These notifications are an important part of using the site effectively.
By turning both features on to the green “On” position, you will not miss any replies or reactions from your current chat partners, as well as new and intriguing messages from users who have liked you and even opened chats with you.
However, there is one snag. The fact is that in Canada, the USA, Great Britain, Australia and some Western European countries the toggle switch for activating “push notifications” does not work.
This is due to the nuances of the legislation of these countries in terms of interference in private life and intrusive advertising.
As the site’s technical support staff explained to me (with sincere apologies), this function works 100% all over the world, but in countries that overly strictly regulate the lives of citizens, alas, push notifications are disabled. This is not the fault of the site’s creators, they simply can’t violate the laws of these countries.
Be that as it may, notifications are delivered to your email in a timely manner (make sure they don’t end up in your spam folder!
And if they do, click the “not spam” button next to these notifications). And if your email client has the sound notification function enabled for new letters, your chances of missing an important reply or an intriguing invitation are close to zero.
Have you enabled notifications and clicked “Save”? Great! Go to the section for finding a partner for the evening or for life.
Design and navigation
At first, the site does not make a bright and attractive impression: the design can be called ascetic, almost stingy, cold, Scandinavian.
However, after some time, the advantages of such an approach were fully revealed to me.
The fact is that there is nothing superfluous in front of the eyes on the user’s open page of the site, nothing distracting from the main key goals of finding a date, meeting a girl, and communicating with her.
There is no intrusive advertising (there is no advertising at all on the site, which is terrific), no shiny flashing indicators, poisonous and acidic colors, no distractions, and nothing that interferes with finding a partner.
Site navigation is also simple and convenient and is tied to a particular user’s geographic location. Simply put, triangulation of location allows to show each other on the site those people who are nearby, within a radius of 25 miles, that is, within driving distance by car or transport.
You don’t even have to enable geolocation on your PC or phone, there’s no need for that – the site’s algorithm determines where you are based on your public IP with an accuracy of 500 feet. And if you have Wi-Fi connected, then with an accuracy of 300 feet.
Having thought about it, I concluded that the negative aspects of such a decision by the FlirtForDate developers definitely equalize the positive ones.
I attributed the negative ones to the impossibility of choosing a city, town, or any specific locality to see which ladies are looking for love there.
The site will show each other only those who can really meet and go on a date right now: this allows you not to dream about meeting a stranger who is far away but to get down to business quickly, without unnecessary delays, that is, the way adults who value their time like it. And this is already a very positive side of such an approach to dates and hookups.
So, users who see each other on the site screen are those people who are in relative geographical proximity.
This is true: I have never had to travel to meet women I contacted on the site for more than half an hour.
This is very convenient, practical and profitable, so this nuance is definitely one of the advantages of the FlirtForDate.com site.
Search, Likes, Matches
The process of finding a couple on the site is simple and clear. You scroll through the gallery of profiles, represented by a formal photo, using three buttons provided on the screen.
From left to right: the button to return to the previous profile (a rounded yellow arrow), a purple cross and a scarlet heart. By clicking on the cross, you simply move on to the next profile, but if you click on the heart, two things will happen.
First, the owner of the profile you tagged will receive a notification that you liked him/her and you “hearted” their profile.
Second, the profile you tagged will be saved in your “My Matches” folder in the “My Likes” section. And potentially, a third thing can happen: the owner of the profile you liked can like your profile in return, and then his/her profile will go to your “Matches” section of the “My Matches” folder.
This whole process is accompanied by mutually noticeable pop-up notifications with forwarding to email, so you will not miss these messages, especially if you have enabled “notifications” in the settings.
In fact, in the menu under your avatar, consisting of five folders (My Profile, My Messages, My Matches, About Me and Settings), the “My Matches” folder is the second most important after the “My Messages” folder.
Logically speaking, this folder contains all the contacts that have already been established practically without any costs on your part.
Everything happens at the symbolic level: you sent someone your heart, and if you received a heart in return – you can say that half the job is done, you liked each other.
Now it is enough to transfer your contact to the verbal (actually textual) plane and impress each other in a couple of chats. After that, the question will only be where you will meet each other.
There are three sections in the “My Matches” folder: “Likes Received”, “My Likes” and “Matches”.
By and large, we are interested in the “Likes Received” and “Matches” sections, because in the first one you see the profiles of those who liked you one-sidedly (for now), and in the second one, those with whom you have definitely already developed a first mutual sympathy.
Profiles in the “Matches” folder are the most promising in terms of developing an acquaintance, pay special attention to them.
In fact, it is with these people that you should open chats, since the chances of establishing contact and meeting with them are higher than with anyone else.
Communication: process, details, tips
Let’s say you’ve found your Match, that is, you’ve sent someone a scarlet heart and received it in return. It’s time to move on to communicating in a private chat.
There’s nothing complicated here either, just click on the profile photo-avatar right in the “My Matches” folder – and this profile will open in full before you.
Click on the “Message” button and in the field that opens, write your first – free – message.
Please note that one message in the chat is a text consisting of 999 characters. A character is any sign: space, letter, number, punctuation mark.
Each user of the site can send only one free message to another user of the opposite sex – the first one. To continue and develop a conversation with this person, you will have to open a paid private chat.
In this regard, I will give the following advice: always approach the content of your first – free – message with special care.
I have noticed that women are very inventive in this regard and will cope without my tips, but men should learn from my experience of trial and errors in order to effectively use the site from the very beginning, not to spend extra money and a lot of time.
Keep in mind that unlike a paid private chat, a free message is subject to the most severe censorship by the site administration.
After a session of correspondence with the technical support department, I found out that this censorship is carried out with the help of AI, as well as a staff of moderators.
Men are very tempted to send a lot of women the first free message containing his phone number or some messenger and an appeal to contact him as soon as possible. I warn you: this will not work.
First of all, when sending multiple identical messages to multiple subscribers, you risk getting banned – AI recognizes spam and flooding very quickly.
In addition, if a free message contains links to third-party resources or numbers, then the same AI automatically turns such a message into unreadable gibberish, which looks adequate on your side, but arrives on the other side in a distorted form beyond recognition.
If you try to do what I did when I first started using the site, namely, write numbers in text (like “one, two, three”), then sooner or later – and most likely sooner – one of the women will complain to the administration and your profile will be put on a preventive ban for three days.
As I already said, women do not like when they are treated like call-girls and when men throw their phone numbers or addresses at them, it sounds and looks offensive. I admit, I learned this from my own shameful experience.
In short, I advise you to rack your brains over your first message and come up with at least three different versions of a witty, catchy or intriguing phrase consisting of two or three sentences, no more.
All these versions of your text should have one thing in common – all these phrases must necessarily end with a question. Why should it be this way? I’ll explain.
A question is like a fishing hook, which we are hooked on like a trout, by raising the tone of voice at the end of a sentence, that is, using interrogative intonation.
A question is a universal social master key. A question allows one stranger to address another and legitimately invade his life, destiny, time and personal space. Among other things, women love to answer questions and talk about themselves – use this!
However, the phrase “Tell me about yourself!” does not work, it is bland, too comprehensive and does not contain any intrigue.
But something containing a compliment, sincere interest and a simple joke will definitely give its results, for example: “What a wonderful hat you are wearing in the photo! And this photo was clearly taken somewhere in Europe.
Am I right? Do you like hats and traveling?” And don’t be shy about using smileys, emojis, gifs and other graphic expressions and “sweeteners” of your text, even though they take up space and symbols in the text.
Using graphics is fashionable now, and also subconsciously demonstrates your sincere interest in the woman you are writing to, because you were not lazy and found two or three pictures to make your text look more attractive and funnier.
By the way, if someone wrote to you first, on their own initiative, then pay attention to this: did this person send you one message or more?
As you know, sending the first message costs nothing, it is given by the site for free. But if this person sent you two or more messages, this means that this person has already paid for the chat on their side and you just need to connect on your side – this chat will certainly not become useless and unpromising.
Conversation: coins, chats, confidentiality
Sooner or later, you will like someone on the site enough to open a paid private chat with that person. To do this, you will need so-called “coins”.
This is the site’s conditional currency, which you exchange for chats at a ratio of 10 to 1, that is, one chat on the site costs ten coins.
There are no optimized discounts in this regard: even if you buy a hundred thousand coins, you can open ten thousand sites with them, no other way and not one more.
At the same time, please note that the site provides discounts on purchasing the coins themselves. And this is already a really noticeable savings.
The site’s price list had not changed since 2020 when I first joined the FlirtForDate community, and up until the minute of writing this text in 2025.
In my opinion, this speaks in favor of the site’s creators: galloping global inflation has not shaken their determination to keep the site accessible to users with an average income, and not just to the rich.
It is important to know that the more coins you buy at once, the cheaper each coin will be for you. This is easy to see when comparing the purchase of ten and one hundred and fifty coins.
10 coins – 10 USD ($1 per coin)
30 coins – 27 USD ($0.9 per coin)
50 coins – 42 USD ($0.84 per coin)
100 coins – 81 USD ($0.81 per coin)
150 coins – 117 USD ($0.78 per coin)
By the way, the very first time you buy on the site, you will pay only $4.5 for 10 coins, not 10. This discount is one-time, it is worth using the very first time, but in the future I recommend buying coins in packs of 150 pieces, as I did, because it is a little cheaper.
So, having bought your first coins, you will want to urgently spend them on a chat with a user of the opposite sex.
Do not rush, choose wisely, as I have already advised, pay attention to those users with whom you have not only exchanged scarlet hearts (your match) but who have already opened a paid private chat on their side, that is, sent you more than one message in a row.
Reply to this interlocutor with the first – free – message, and then try to send the second. The site will ask if you allow a dozen coins to be written off from your account on the site to open a private chat with this person. Give your consent and chat!
As the developers of the site told me in correspondence with technical support, no one has access to the paid private chat: neither the site’s AI, nor the moderators, nor the developers, nor the technical support, nor the administrators – no one except for two people who paid for this chat each from their side.
Confidentiality is almost the key point and the main pride of the dating and intimate communication site FlirtForDate.
Since in a private chat you can exchange not only any text information, but also images, imagine how important it is to observe and protect the privacy of such information.
The photos sent to me by some women with whom we have established a fairly trusting relationship were intended only for the eyes of one man – the one to whom they were sent.
The developers of the site are proud of their international patents in terms of encryption of information in chats – no one has yet managed to crack them. But this coin has another side.
The thing is that for this reason – deep encryption of chats for the sake of confidentiality – there is no way to correct or delete sent messages.
If you sent someone some text, you will not be able to “take these words back”, so take your time and be careful when writing.
In addition, chats are not limited in time (as on other dating sites), on FlirtForDate no one rushes you, do not rush to send a written remark, reread it before sending. It has never hurt anyone to think twice before saying something, and even more so – to write it.
Folder “My Messages” – order and convenience
To be able to chat with multiple women (or men) at the same time, you have a folder called “My Messages”, in which the site developers have created a simple, clear and convenient interface.
It is so cool and effective that I have been suffering for some time on other dating sites, sincerely missing the easy and understandable order of the “My Messages” folder on FlirtForDate.
This folder displays all incoming messages in the order they arrive from top to bottom: the higher the message, the fresher it is, and each new one is on top.
All messages/dialogues are divided into four sections by the following categories: Conversations, Online, Favorites, and Unread.
Each specified category has a corresponding sorting button by the specified feature.
When you click on the “Conversations” button, you will see a list of all profiles with which you have exchanged at least one message, that is, you only need to send this person at least one message for this person’s profile to appear in this list.
When you click on the “Online” button, you will see a list of all users of the opposite sex who are currently online.
If you have never sent a single message to this person, but this person is currently online on the site and is within a 25-mile radius of you, you will see this person’s profile in the list that drops down when you click on this button.
When you click on the “Favorites” button, you will see all the profiles that you have marked with a gold star.
These are the conversations that give you the most satisfaction, which are the most promising, in a word, all those that you like and which for this reason you have marked with a gold star.
When you click on the “Unread” button, you will see a list of all messages that have been sent to you and that you have not yet seen.
This list includes messages from those with whom you have already communicated, as well as from users with whom you are not yet acquainted, but who have sent you one or more messages.
Personally, when I went to the site, I almost always immediately turned on three of the four buttons (moved the switches to the green position): Online, Favorites and Unread.
This allowed me to see only new messages only in favorite correspondence, only from those who are currently online on the site.
By the way, I hasten to draw your attention to one important nuance. The site shows each other those users who are no further than 25 miles from each other.
However, if you exchanged at least one – even a free – message with this user, then wherever you both moved after that, you can, if you wish, continue the correspondence with this person.
This is brilliant foresight on the part of the site developers! I am often on the road for work, sometimes in a month I can travel to several states.
And at the same time, I am not afraid of losing contact with the ladies with whom I had an affair in other places, being several hundred or even thousands of miles from the place where I met them.
In other words, by changing your geographic location, you will be shown new people on the site, but those with whom you started correspondence earlier will not disappear from your list, especially if you marked these profiles with a gold star.
Negative aspects of the site
The FlirtForDate website has plenty of positive aspects, and I have described most of them above. But there is nothing absolutely perfect in the world.
What are the downsides of this platform? What do the guys do wrong or not as desired from a user’s point of view?
Let’s consider these things with one caveat: what I personally can assess as something negative is not necessarily such for some other user. Here is the most striking example of such duality.
The FlirtForDate platform exists only as a website, they do not have an app.
It would seem that at the beginning of the second quarter of the 21st century, even your home wardrobe has its own app in the App Store or Play Market – or should have one, but this dating site does not.
One of my first questions to the site’s technical support: where can I download the app? Nowhere, they answered, we do not have it.
“But why?” – I asked, shocked. And I received an unexpectedly non-trivial answer, which did not occur to me myself.
The lack of an app that requires downloading and registering is a privacy issue.
The fact is that almost half of the users of this dating site, easy matches, quick flirting and one-night stands prefer the privacy that the website provides.
And the app needs to be downloaded, the icon on the screen along with incoming notifications and other interactions can cause big trouble for some married man – the father of a family – or definitely embarrass some respectable mother of an adult son.
The next controversial negative side of this site, which many will consider to be its advantages, is the fact that the platform is pretty often used by sex industry workers, those respectable ladies who earn their living with their hard-working bodies.
Since this is literally a job for such women, they often pounce on a newly registered newbie right from the start, shower him with compliments, and open a private chat with him, in which they directly tell him their phone number, address, and sometimes even prices.
Despite the fact that such women regularly pay coins to open chats, the Site Administration does not welcome this and – as the technical support staff assured me – the Moderation Department of the Site Administration mercilessly fights this phenomenon.
I was also a little surprised by the fact that deleting your account on FlirtForDate does not happen instantly, they have a so-called “quarantine period” for three months.
That is, if you decide to delete your account, you go to “Settings”, give the order to delete the account and a pop-up window informs you that your account has been deleted (it is not shown to other users in the search and the sending of messages is disabled), but if you return to the site within the next 90 days, the account will be automatically restored.
Not that this is a matter of principle, but it is a little strange that the user’s order to delete the account once and for all is suddenly postponed for a quarter of a year at the request of the site’s creators.
Well, since we are talking about deleting, I think the main disadvantage of FlirtForDate is the lack of the ability to delete a message sent in a chat.
We have all become spoiled and sissies in the process of using various messengers, in which any word sent to the interlocutor can be edited or even deleted.
But it is not so on the FlirtForDate dating site: if you send something to someone – be it a photo or a message – you can no longer take back your words, correct them or delete them.
It’s also a bit of a pity that the site doesn’t provide any way to “earn” coins (apart from filling out a questionnaire in the “About Me” folder), you only have to buy them, and you won’t be able to get coins for any specific behavior on the site (high activity, lots of answers, lots of likes-hearts, etc.), the creators didn’t foresee this.
Or they didn’t want to integrate it. However, the site is actively developing, listens to suggestions and wishes of users, and perhaps one day they will implement something similar on their platform.
By and large, these points exhaust the negative aspects of this dating site, flirting and clinging. In all other respects, it meets all the requirements of a convenient tool for finding a partner for one night or for life – it’s a matter of luck.
Results and conclusions
Let’s summarize all the aspects described above in a short and concise form to highlight the most important, necessary and interesting.
First of all, I hasten to note that the FlirtForDate hookup site is suitable for men over forty years old with an average income or even below average, since in the chat you can quickly arrange a meeting and not waste time and money on chatting, but get straight to business.
However, taking a lady to a cafe or a movie is still worth the money, but these are the next questions that open up after you have met on the site.
Searching for a couple on the site – in addition to gender – is possible by age, interests, habits and passions (thanks to the questionnaire in the “About Me” folder).
In addition, thanks to the user’s geolocation tool (even if the function itself is not enabled), people on the site see each other’s profiles only if they are relatively close to each other, this is convenient and effective.
Within the private paid chat, you can exchange text messages, photos and emoticons of all available forms and types.
The developers report the imminent introduction of voice communication, but at this stage this option has not yet been implemented.
However, with the modern tools for transforming voice commands into printed text, I, to be honest, do not see a fundamental need for such an upgrade.
The site is easy to use, communication is instant, without delays, in a word, I find the existing version quite satisfactory and meets its objectives.
There are no subscriptions (regular payments), no monthly fees, nothing like that on the FlirtForDate website, which is really pleasing.
There is no need to pay “for air”, for the great honor of being registered on this dating and matching site. The user pays only if he wants to develop an interesting intriguing conversation with someone, and only for a limited number of messages.
At the same time, messages do not “burn” if users temporarily stop the conversation: the chat allows you to send 10 messages, and until you do the chat will not end, but will patiently wait for the continuation of the started dialogue.
The dating site FlirtForDate is easy to use, confidential, affordable in terms of pricing policy, and the search algorithm is organized efficiently and effectively.
The technical support service works flawlessly: suffice it to say that answers to my questions came within a few hours, and my request to talk to someone from the site administration was answered by no less than one of the site’s creators personally and directly.
In a word, I myself use this dating and matching site to this day and quite successfully. Not only I am happy with the site, but also all those ladies I met on this site.
Life Hacks for dating on the FlirtForDate.com
At the end of this detailed description of the history and development, as well as my personal experience of using this site for dates, hooking up with women and finding a match for men over forty, I will give a dozen life hacks that will simplify and speed up the process of finding a partner on this resource.
I have acquired all this knowledge from my own experience, so you do not need to make mistakes, but just follow the ten rules given below, and you will quickly and easily find a partner for a pleasant evening, and maybe – why not? – you may find the love of your life.
1. Upload three to five photos of you in a good mood and in a beautiful landscape; do not upload photos with other people in the frame, and especially with women (if you are a woman, do not upload photos with men).
2. Choose the purpose of meeting – travel, flirting or relationships. Do not choose friendship and create a family: whether you will become friends or create a family together – you will find out after meeting in person, but for now travel and flirt.
3. Choose a wide amplitude of the desired age, that is, between the minimum limit of the desired age of the partner and the maximum there should be at least twelve years, ideally 16-18.
4. Be sure to fill in the “About me” section in your profile with a meaningful, intriguing text, and not an address or phone number or some nonsense.
5. Fill out the questionnaire (heart at the bottom right), which the site offers. By answering these few questions, you will help the algorithm to better select matches for you, and it will also be easier to find a suitable couple, say, based on common interests. Well, in addition – you will receive 10 coins as a gift.
6. Turn on notifications about new dialogues and responses to dialogues you have already opened in the settings.
7. Pay special attention to those who write more than one message in a row: on their part, the private chat has already been paid for, which means this person is very interested in contacting you.
8. Use the first – free – message wisely: come up with several catchy, intriguing and funny lines-phrases in advance. Try to formulate them in the form of a question.
9. If you decide to buy coins for communication on the site, it is more profitable to buy them in large packages; when buying 150 coins, one coin is noticeably cheaper than when buying 10 coins.
10. Pay special attention to those people who sent you a scarlet heart (match) – it is easiest to establish contact with them and reach a full-fledged acquaintance and communication with all the ensuing pleasant consequences.
