From year to year, the attitude towards casual sex has been extremely ambiguous.
Someone considers it a normal practice and a great way to bring more experience and colors to intimate life, and someone denounces such behavior.
The right answer to the question “Is it good or bad to indulge in casual sex?” is, of course, no.
Due to upbringing and societal pressures, many people succumb to an entire culture of sex.
They are dictated the right age, time, and frequency of having sex.
Needless to say, such an approach is not always right. Nevertheless, casual sex is still considered a problem and is frowned upon.
Let’s try to determine what kind of stereotypes society has imposed on us and where it was wrong this time.
At the same time, let’s find out if this practice is right for you and how it can affect the human psyche.
Yes, yes, it has a big impact! There is no exact definition of the term “casual sex.” It all depends on the boundaries set in the understanding of intimacy.
Most often, it is a single sexual encounter based on mutual consent and desire. Further than one night, the relationship between the partners never goes further.
What exactly should happen in bed is decided only by the participants.
Sex with penetration, joint masturbation, oral caresses—all this, one way or another, fits the definition, which is also known as “sex without commitment” or “one night stand.”
Contrary to everything, in the minds of many, “casual sex” is organized only in a situation where a guy or a girl hooks up with a nice party for one night, and then they go their separate ways like ships at sea.
In fact, this concept applies to exes, friends, and even long-forgotten classmates whom you have not seen for about 10 years.
For many lovers of casual hookups, such is perceived as a game, an opportunity to let off steam without getting involved in the clarification of relations.
Periodically, they find a partner for one evening and do what they want, spitting on the rules. Is this a bad thing?
Stereotypes
There have always been many stereotypes surrounding sex. When the definition of “casual” was attached to it, their number only multiplied.
Special views on intimacy in society dictate religion, mentality, foundations, and traditions.
And, despite the fact that this is the 21st century, stereotypes about sex still play a significant role.
It is especially difficult for women.
Unlike men, for whom a large number of sexual partners is the best confirmation of their status as “alpha” in society, women’s partners are watched carefully and by everyone.
That is why casual sex is more discussed in male society.
Although these stereotypes say who can and who cannot have casual sex should not.
Such statements only increase the inequality between the sexes and perpetuate in society the idea that women cannot enjoy intimacy.
That is not their role at all. It is much easier now to readjust to the new wave and leave judging people for personal choices.
Successful use of contraception and regular check-ups with doctors help avoid unwanted pregnancies and incurable STDs that have haunted sex at all times.
It also cannot be overlooked that positive trends are emerging in the West.
The widening range of orientations and identities, thanks to which anyone can more accurately identify their preferences and define their own “I,” gradually leads to the fact that sex for one time becomes part of the norm, everyday life.
If one does not oppose these views but rather supports them, then soon stereotypes about intimacy will disappear altogether, leaving only the possibility of receiving and giving pleasure.
The Advantages and Disadvantages of Casual Sex
It is impossible to determine exactly what is good and what is definitely bad about casual sex.
Everything depends on the specific situation.
For example, the advantage of such connections is to satisfy your needs, get an emotional shake, have a good time in the company of an attractive person, and, finally, feel desirable.
As for the disadvantages, casual sex acts can sometimes end not very smoothly, especially if the partner escaped from bed before dawn.
This is fraught with a depressed state, increased anxiety, intense shame, and regret about what you have done.
A stranger, also, can turn out to be so attentive and charming that the night spent together will become love at first sight.
But love is one-sided, unfortunately. The fact is that some people give sex a strong meaning, finding in it a special sensual component.
Others have a simpler attitude toward intimacy and do not get attached to a partner immediately.
It is important to determine which group you belong to so that you do not get a serious psychological trauma instead of trembling knees and a good orgasm.
The difficulty of casual sex lies not only in psychological unpreparedness but also in the risks to the body and physical health.
Even after letting go of the situation, many people continue to worry during sexual intercourse about possible infection with sexually transmitted diseases, as well as the possibility of violent sex.
One cannot be 100% sure that there is a person in bed who will stop any action after a firmly spoken “no.”
Paradoxically, but knowing about all the disadvantages, people continue to experiment, even if initially defined themselves in the group of “vulnerable.”
What if they like it? Oh no, here, as in the first sex, a conscious approach is important. You do not need to look at how great a close friend or a friend from casual connections is.
We are all different and are free to dispose of their sexuality as we want; the main thing is that this desire was independent, not imposed from the outside.
How Casual Sex Affects the Psyche
How a single affair affects the psyche depends largely on the experience gained.
A person who has already had time to experiment with his body and learn its limits and limits of pleasure will get more positive emotions from sex. A not particularly experienced partner is likely to be anxious about the night spent.
Going back to the stereotypes and dogmas established in society, it should be emphasized that women are less likely to get a positive mental response from casual sex.
Everyday imposition of the opinion that a woman has no right to dispose of her own body leads to the fact that after sex develops anxiety, intense shame, and even fear that the connection will become public and an easy target for criticism.
Thus, many girls feel used afterward and strongly regret having initially consented.
One may agree to a casual liaison, expecting it to add fire to one’s life.
But it can also be that the sex turns out to be not the best, the partners are incompatible, and the deed is already done.
That is why it is important to clearly control their desires, especially if by nature you are adventurous about what to look for.
The reverse side of the coin is that lovers of casual sex remove all emotions. They are cold to the partner; all they care about is a good night and a quick discharge.
Such an approach is fraught with complete disappointment in the relationship.
Sexual intercourse is also about feelings. By erasing this element, a person is setting themselves up for burnout and depressive episodes on their own.
Another possible situation with an ex as a partner is a toxic relationship. Imagine getting together with an ex-partner every few months to unwind.
For one of the participants, this could mean much more than a fun night out.
In such a case, there is room for an addictive relationship that should not be allowed in any way!
It is fraught with stress, jealousy, and severe anxiety.
Also, according to research, casual sex is one of the leading causes of psychological trauma.
Fear of getting pregnant, catching a terrible disease, becoming a victim of judgment. All of this will clearly affect the state of your psyche (and not for the better).
Saying casual sex loudly “Yes!” or an unequivocal “No!” is not an easy thing to do.
Before you write to a mysterious stranger and offer a romantic dinner, think carefully about whether you are really ready for a single connection without commitment and whether after this will not flare up in your strong feelings.
Casual sex is a very broad term. It all depends on the circumstances under which it occurred, with what person, in what environment.
Each case should be considered individually. But one thing should be remembered ironcladly: casual sex is inadmissible without a condom.
This is the only method of contraception, which, with a probability of 99.9%, protects against the vast majority of sexually transmitted diseases.
It is not worth risking your own health and trusting in the “chance.” Your task is to take care of your safety and always have a condom with you, which can be a great help in times of need.