As thrilling and exciting a situationship can be at the beginning, it can be equally challenging and exhausting over time. 

The constant question of ‘what are we’ can be mentally draining and emotionally taxing over time. 

Worse if the person doesn’t want to have an open and clear discussion about the whole situation. 

Thus leaving you feeling lost, confused, and unsure of where you stand. And that’s not a place where someone with self-worth and self-love should be.

So, How Do You Get Out of a Situation?

Given that now your priorities and values have changed. How do you break free from the emotional roller coaster? 

Because it’s not going to be easy, you obviously, to some extent, have feelings for or care for this person. 

Believe it or not, the pain doesn’t feel any less painful just because it was a casual relationship. 

How do you move on without being drawn back when you are feeling bored? How do you regain your sense of self again?

Here is how we can navigate this messy and tricky terrain of recovering from a situationship.

Acknowledging Your Feelings: The First Step to Emotional Wellness

The first step to dealing with anything is being honest with yourself. Allow yourself to feel the emotional roller coaster without holding back.

Be sad, cry out of confusion, long for him or her, be angry, and cry if that’s how it feels.

But don’t hold back; you have every right to feel that way.

If you try to suppress or ignore whatever you are feeling, you will never be able to truly process this.

Which is ten thousand steps back to your healing journey.

Whatever it is, give yourself time to feel. And I mean it when I say don’t try to simplify it or listen to people trying to simply it. 

Cry, vent, and write in a journal, because all of this is a sign of how genuine you were and your capabilities to feel love. It’s a loss of connection. 

Of course you are going to cry and grieve, so let it all out without judging yourself. There was time and energy invested there; those feelings are valid.

Recognize the Signs of a Situationship and Unmask the Illusion Early

Sometimes it’s hard to let go of a situation because you don’t realize you are in a situationship in the first place.

So you keep on hoping that things will move in a more serious direction, but years pass with nothing. It’s the hope that makes the pain of leaving intensify.

If you find yourself wondering or feeling insecure, it’s time to face reality and leave before things get worse.

Assess your relationship; ask yourself why it doesn’t have a label yet and no sign of addressing it; then clinging to that hope and losing your mental health is not worth it.

Reclaim Your Power 

Okay, now that you have recognized the signs and acknowledged your feelings, the next step is taking action. And this starts by understanding that you can’t control someone’s feelings. 

Whatever is out of your control, do not let it control you.

Set boundaries; let that person know that if he or she is not willing to have clear communication about this whole situationship, you are walking away for good. And you should be firm. 

Limit contact to create space for your healing. And focus on your needs and getting to yourself better.

Challenge whatever negative thoughts and self-doubt you have.

Nature, Your Wellbeing 

Healing of any kind requires being kind and expressing self-compassion to yourself.

You have to be able to look back at the situation and understand the place you were coming from, not judging yourself harshly. 

Take time to reconnect with yourself to do things you love with your close friends and family. 

Know that however hard the decision to terminate the situationship was, prioritize your mental health.

Remember your worth and values, and celebrate your uniqueness.

Be Patient with Yourself in Letting Go of the Past 

Like it or not, it takes time to get over something that meant more to you.

Don’t let the steps backwards you feel on some days make you think you are not making progress. But don’t dwell on the past. 

Forgive yourself if you find yourself beating yourself over what happened. That it’s okay to have a few regrets and to make mistakes.

Learn from the experience by reflecting on the key takeaways you took.

Yeah, you will need to ask yourself what type of love you are looking for moving forward.

Don’t let this make you afraid to open your heart to love again.

Why Is Getting Over a Situationship So Hard?

While casual sex may seem like a good idea, our nervous system is hardwired for emotional connection.

During sex, our brains are flooded with a host of mood-boosting hormones: oxytocin, dopamine, and serotonin. 

This is why situational relationships tend to produce an addictive cycle of reward and deprivation (similar to drug addiction).

The lack of clarity and then periodic periods of access to someone in a situational relationship cultivates reward/uncertainty pathways in the brain.

For some, addiction is the biggest obstacle to letting go of this dynamic.

It’s also worth mentioning that when a situational relationship takes away attention, it can activate early attachment wounds.

We begin to equate that person’s reluctance to build a relationship with our self-esteem.

In this case, situationships can lead to a deep sense of insecurity and self-doubt – especially if you’re prone to anxious attachment.

Lack of emotional intimacy, despite physical closeness, leads to unexpressed vulnerability and self-denial.

As a consequence, situational attachments lead to feelings of self-loathing and shame.

No matter how much our culture tries to normalize sexual objectification, we are not robots. We all need validation and connection. 

In conclusion, I can say moving on from a situation requires a great deal of work, but you shouldn’t give up.

It’s all about valuing your sense of worth, reclaiming your power, and learning from the experience.

When dealing with hard times, nothing beats self-compassion; it helps with healing.