A recent study found that there are four distinct humor styles. What can they tell you about you and your partner? Find out here.
On datingmidnight, research has shown that a sense of humor is the number one thing men and women look for in a date, and that men and women use humor in different ways when dating.
But what do we mean by a sense of humor? And are there different types?
Types of humor
In a recent study by Martin et al (2003), researchers developed a questionnaire and identified four types of humor.
- Sympathetic humor – This type of humor is what most people associate with a sense of humor. They tell jokes or make funny remarks that are not directed at others. This type of humor is used to strengthen relationships between themselves and others, for team building, or to create a light and fun atmosphere.
- Self-deprecating – Remember the clown in school? This clown uses self-deprecating humor to make fun of others at their expense. They make fun of themselves to gain the approval of those around them by making themselves the butt of the joke. They even laugh along with others when they make fun of themselves.
- Self-empowerment – People who use self-empowerment always find the humorous and positive side of life to cope with stress and all life’s problems. It is not only the ability to find laughter in everyday situations, but also a way to cope with all adversity without being ruled by negative emotions.
- Aggressive – This type of humor is, as the name suggests, aggressive. Aggressive humor includes forms of mocking others, ridiculing others, being sarcastic, and making fun of others. This type of humor is often used to hurt, manipulate, or alienate others. People with an offensive sense of humor find it hard to resist saying something funny.
Everyone uses a little bit of this type of humor, and sometimes self-deprecating or aggressive humor isn’t necessarily a bad thing.
For example, aggressive humor can be useful in confrontational situations or when showing wit through sarcasm.
Self-deprecating humor can help you show that you don’t take yourself too seriously or that you can joke around with others. In practice, it’s useful to use a mix of these types of humor.
We conducted this survey of nearly 1,000 datingmidnight users to see how common these types of humor are among men and women, and how humor style affects personality.
Overall, men were much more likely to use self-deprecating or aggressive humor than women, but this type of humor was not as common as self-deprecating or empathetic humor.
Humor becomes less important to us over time. Another interesting finding from the analysis is that older people no longer find themselves as funny or enjoy humor as much as younger people do. The rate of aggressive humor drops sharply in older people, while the decline in self-fulfilling humor is less pronounced.
What does the use of different styles of humor say about your personality?
Fun-loving people like to be around other people. Each style of humor was significantly associated with greater extroversion.
This makes sense, because to be a fun person, someone has to listen to your humor. If you are very philosophical, you might ask, “If no one heard my jokes, would they still be funny?” – you ask.
It has been found that people who use a lot of affiliative, self-deprecating, and offensive humor are significantly smarter. Telling a joke, or at least successfully telling a joke, is not an easy thing to do.
You have to be pretty smart to have humorous ideas and to understand other people’s jokes. However, people who used a lot of self-deprecating humor were not significantly smarter.
It was also found that people who used affable humor were more confident in their relationships, valued friendships more, and were less argumentative.
Overall, if you meet someone whose sense of humor is funnier or who believes that a sense of humor is important, they are more likely to establish a more emotionally close relationship with you and trust you to show your true self.
They are more likely to establish a closer and more intimate relationship with you than someone who uses less affiliative humor.
People who use self-affirming humor to cope with difficult times must be doing something right. In general, people who use self-affirming humor are much happier than those who resort to it less often.
They are more confident, feel more fortunate, and are generally more satisfied with themselves.
Using humor to see the positive side of any situation rather than getting carried away by the world is great for their daily mood.
Although it is very enjoyable to interact with people who use self-critical humor, there are downsides.
People who aren’t afraid to laugh at themselves are more likely to form closer relationships, aren’t afraid to show off, and are more likely to trust others.
However, they were also found to be more anxious, depressed and neurotic, as well as less confident in their own physical attractiveness.
If you know someone who uses a lot of offensive humor, ridicules others, or is excessively sarcastic, you can tell a lot about them.
People who use offensive humor are less kind and affectionate, more nervous, bossy and controlling, less confident in their physical attractiveness, and less likely to seek intimacy with a partner than those who use less offensive humor.
They may be more intelligent and more sexually interested, but in this case the cons certainly outweigh the pros. Their own insecurities may drive them to make jokes and draw attention away from themselves.
Humor is a very important part of our communication. Humor can help us get through good and bad times, make others seem more (Bressler & Balshine, 2006), and even make strangers feel closer to each other (Fraley & Aron, 2004).
So the next time you exchange messages or go on a date with a stranger, think about the kind of humor you both use.
Risks and responsibilities of using humor
Be sure to consider the context in which the comedy will be used and the potential audience. Using certain types of humor can create risks, such as offending people or losing touch with the audience.
Also, if humor is presented in a disrespectful manner, it can be misinterpreted as offensive or aggressive.
Understanding the different types of humor can help you avoid these misunderstandings and give you an idea of how best to approach a situation.
There are situations where humor can be problematic. Be aware of how humor can be interpreted. Always be aware of how your jokes are received and how they may affect your interactions with others.
With this in mind, understanding how to use different types of humor effectively will help create a more positive and enjoyable experience for everyone.
If you are unsure how to interpret how your jokes are received by others, you may want to seek help.
There are mental health professionals who specialize in studying how our words, humor, and tone of voice are received.
Humor as a mask: therapy can help
Humor is often used as a mask to hide your feelings. If you find that you rely heavily on humor, or feel that your sense of humor is being used to hide your feelings, you may want to seek professional help.
A mental health professional can guide you on how to understand what your humor is affecting you and how it may be interpreted by others.
