Physiological similarity in the early stages of a relationship can be an interesting period for some forces as they begin to explore their own physiological and psychological dynamics.
For others, this can be a frustrating stage, causing little study and also careful interest in their sexual needs.
Regardless of whether one side or the other will lean the scales, both scenarios are quite common, as sexual compatibility is different in any relationship.
Equally, how do you find out if you are compatible with your partner sexually?
In case you notice that you and your partner are usually in the same wave sexually—you have common fantasies; you are blessed with similar sexual acts; you have similar expectations regarding frequency and duration; and also you have similar predispositions to try (or not to try) something new—you may be able to be sure that you are sexually compatible.
But, in case you think that you and your partner are not sexually compatible, there are methods to solve this problem and also to help you two be in the same wave.
I consulted with a certified sexologist as well as coach Sari Cooper up front to acquire a committee on this as well as how to regulate sexual compatibility—as well as incompatibility—in your relationship.
Explore her expert advice below.
What is Sexual Compatibility?
Sexual compatibility refers to two partners who have common or similar sexual needs, including sexual preferences, stimulating conditions, and the desired frequency.
It is in addition able to contain a similar temperament, tolerance, or willingness to participate in the latest sexual experiences or, on the contrary, the presence of a common vision in the implementation of a “more familiar range of behavior,” Cooper explains.
Why Sexual Compatibility Matters
Deepening the emotional connection
Sexual compatibility helps to strengthen the emotional bond between partners. When both partners get full satisfaction from physical intimacy, their relationship strengthens and the emotional connection becomes deeper.
Satisfaction of needs and desires
Satisfying the needs and desires of each person can have their own sexual desires and preferences.
Perfect sexual compatibility allows each of the partners to satisfy their needs and desires, which brings harmony to their relationship.
On the other hand, if at least one of the partners feels that the other partner ignores his desires, then there is a high probability of dissatisfaction and even a breakup of the relationship.
Less stress and tension
Psychologists note that relationships in which partners have a high level of sexual compatibility tend to be accompanied by fewer conflicts and stresses.
In such a relationship, both partners are completely satisfied with their sexual life, which reduces tension and improves the emotional state of each of them.
Partners can more easily cope with life’s difficulties, as there is a strong physical bond between them.
Prevention of infidelity
If both partners are satisfied and happy in their intimate lives, then the risk of temptation decreases.
Open communication about desires and needs helps to avoid misunderstandings and algorithms on the side, which helps to build trust.
Improving the quality of life
Sexual compatibility affects not only relationships but also the quality of life in general.
Research shows that an active and satisfying sexual life is associated with improved mood, increased self-esteem, and reduced stress levels.
Having sex promotes the production of happiness hormones such as endorphins and serotonin, which makes people happier and more satisfied.
Key Issues to Discuss With Your Partner
Whether you’re in a long-term relationship or just getting to know someone new, several tasks can help you determine sexual compatibility in your relationship.
- What are your sexual desires?
- How often do you enjoy having sex?
- What arouses you?
- What turns you off?
- In what place and also equally, how do you like to be touched?
- What do you constantly want to try?
- What makes you feel sexy and desirable?
- Equally, how do you feel about initiating sex?
- Equally, how does intimacy look to you?
- Equally, how do you like to communicate about sex?
- What is considered the main factor in the sexual sphere?
- Do you need an emotional connection to have sex?
What Do You Do When Your Partner isn’t Sexually Compatible
Sexual incompatibility does not necessarily have to be a stumbling block in the relationship, as there are methods to maintain companionship and also increase from this experience. Need some tips?
See several things to consider in case you and also your partner are in no way on the same page when it comes to sex.
Discover for yourself sexual compatibility
Start together with yourself and also try to specify the nuances of sexual compatibility, which, according to your opinion, you are missing.
“Most people who are simply embodied (their mind as well as body is well integrated) are aware enough and also have all chances to show what causes them.
There are many societies, which according to most circumstances (childhood shyness, history of sexual abuse, gender dysphoria) are in no way so ready or so cozy to realize that directly their sensory triggers,” explains Cooper.
“For people who are most embodied, we advise them to list all the sensory triggers that they currently understand, as well as those that they would be open to possibly exploring either without the help of others or together with a partner.”
Approach the issue without blaming
Because of significant feelings as well as guilt combined with talking about problems in the living room, it is simple to signify with your finger the presence of discussing sexual incompatibility.
But you need to find a method to talk along with your partner without blaming them.
“The most important skill that almost all partners do not practice in any way—this is a conversation about sex, which they want. It is necessary to start together with this, to let the partner understand about the nuances of the relationship, which for you really like, including non-sexual qualities,” explains Cooper.
“Then, applying ‘I’m’-statements, show some of the things that are curious for you to introduce into your sex life, such as: “I adore kissing for a long period as well as a method to enter an erotic place together with you; can I attempt to realize a kissing session in which I explore soft kissing without generally in any way utilizing our tongues?”
It is also important to be not closed and also patient.
It may be tempting to start these conversations together with a protective or hurtful view, but if you intend to start these productive, you need to identify many key rules and also work hard in sexual communication.
Keep your lines of communication open
According to Cooper, uninterrupted communication is considered the key to sexual well-being as well as fulfillment.
See for what reason Cooper gives an emphasis period, either once a week or once every 2 weeks, to discuss emotions combined with sexual relationships or relationships in general.
The control keeps the communication channels open so that the two partners have the opportunity to exchange their expectations and also function to achieve a balance.
It can also be useful to talk together with a counselor or a sexopathologist. “When discussions of sexuality and also eroticism lead to escalating disputes, I would advise contacting a sexopathologist that is trained to inspire partners to consider the challenges of love life,” testifies Cooper.
‘If only one of the partners starts the dialogue quietly and [the other] does not stop covering the problem, changing the problem, or carelessly stating, this in addition can be an indicator of this, that competent help is needed.’
Particularly in cases where the problems are so complex and also have a chance to be so emotional, having three people in the room can help make the review more effective.
Change your perspective
Changing the way you consider as well as talk about sex with your partner can send you to the appropriate approach.
The study, laid out in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, found that society, which trusts in the idea of sexual increase—that sexual satisfaction is achieved by persistent work and endeavors—feels the greatest relationship and also sexual satisfaction than those who exactly trust in the sexual purpose—the idea that sexual satisfaction is achieved simply by the line of finding a suitable partner.
‘If partners are inclined to discuss as well as experiment with absolutely all varieties of sensual as well as physiological sexuality with each other, there is more expectation in such a case that they will reveal more overlapping experiments of sexual compatibility,’ testifies Cooper. ‘Using a stable emotion of willingness to study is considered a key ingredient.’
Try new thoughts as well as activities
Releasing long-standing sexual habits can be challenging, however, it is necessary.
‘Schedule a period to share ideas about it and what you would like to try together with each other, agreeing that no partner will in any way belittle or ridicule their partner,’ recommends Cooper.
As long as you are not doing something against your freedom or something that makes you feel bad, trying something new, even if you are experiencing conflicting feelings, can be one of the ways to move towards a different sexual relationship.
Find a method of compromise
Similar to the main place, compromise is considered a component of various relationships, and a compromise solution in sex does not have to be made simply because it’s sex.
‘Create a weekly meeting for lovemaking that can change along with experimentation along with the interests of any partner, along with the agreement that in case someone with the partners becomes uncomfortable or pushes away, a stop word will be applied to stop in the absence of blame or shame,’ Cooper suggests.
Understanding the “Booty Call”: A Modern Take on Casual Relationships
Good Reasons to Break Up – How to Get Rid of Feelings and Also Move On
Knowing What You Can Cope With and What You Can’t
Despite all your actions without exception, one or both of you may lose faith in your ability to solve this problem, as well as you can reach a point if you cannot exist together with a sex life that retreats into the second plan.
In case it is thus, be truthful with your partner and also talk about it, whether it is necessary to stop the relationship.
Simply do not forget: there is no rapid conclusion of difficulties, together with which you meet, and also for you not need to be ashamed of it, that you have this problem.
Know that you are in no way the 1st couple that meets together with sexual incompatibility, and you will in no way become the final.