Lust vs Love: What’s the Difference?

Lust and love

Are lust and love opposites? Is it possible to experience both feelings? How to express both feelings? On the one hand, desire can be defined as a strong need or attraction. It is a strong physical attachment to someone.

On the other hand, love is more practical and can be defined as something that includes compassion, respect, devotion and growth. Love is patient, gentle and healing.

Psychological views on love and lust

Desire is simply a psychological state of wanting sexual contact with another person. It is inherently “here and now.” Young love is often characterized by desire and infatuation.

True love is something that develops over time. It involves passion, commitment, trust and intimacy. Its exact nature is debatable among experts, but neurobiological studies by the Kinsey Institute have shown that it activates the reward and pleasure centers in the brain.

However, when considering love and attraction, and the gradual transition from the former to the latter, we must consider a continuum consisting of three phases: Desire, Attraction, and Attachment.

Desire is the initial sexual phase of attraction, which is largely driven by hormones. Attraction is what we might call passionate love. This is the phase where you start focusing on a particular partner.

Serotonin and dopamine play an important role in this. Attachment is essentially the phase of love, which, oddly enough, is the most neurochemical inert of all phases: it is followed by feelings of calm, comfort and emotional security.

But how can we distinguish between love and desire in everyday life?

Love and lust: which is more important?

Relationships often start with lust and develop into deep love. However, no one can control the order of these feelings. Regardless of which one is more important, the good news is that love and lust can coexist.

When you’re in love with someone, you share passionate moments, and they can be the highlight of your relationship. This intimate, emotional connection is what keeps your relationship going. Let’s take a look at the characteristics and differences between love and lust.

Love and lust – a fine line

Both love and lust are intense, passionate, and stimulating. The difference is that only a few people are capable of true love, and most people mistake lust for love. Lust is superficial, but the feelings are strong and can even develop into love.

Lust vs love: the literal difference

So, what is love? Love is a feeling of caring for another person, while desire is a physical or sexual attraction. It’s generally accepted that attraction fades over time.

However, neither desire nor love will fade over time if it is not maintained.

Desire is selfish. Love is not

Love is selfless; it wants the other person to be happy, satisfied, and successful in life. But desire makes you selfish. You desire to fulfill your own desires. You’re simply obsessed with the other person.

Desire is temporary. Love is eternal

Have you ever wondered why something that once attracted you to a person doesn’t excite you anymore? Maybe you were simply attracted to their personality.

Over time, the spark fades. People who have experienced these feelings tend to get easily agitated when a relationship deteriorates.

On the other hand, there are many meaningful connections in a relationship. Next to it, you will feel comfortable being defenseless. Love persists even in bad times.

Desire is chaos. Love is acceptance

Love accepts the other person as they are and builds relationships based on trust, as well as compromise and sacrifice. Desire, on the other hand, sometimes runs wild and brings chaos to your life.

Five signs of love and lust

Both ignite an inner flame and make us always want more. To help you tell the difference between love and lust, here are some unmistakable signs of love and lust.

Frequent Dating

Dating is an important part of a romantic relationship because it brings two people closer together. Memories of your dates can be the highlight of your relationship. Memories of your dates will stay with you for years to come.

But if you are just friends, you lack commitment and will never actually go on a date. You will never connect on an emotional level.

You will only remember the exciting times you had with each other, and that will be your only memory of that person.

You can ‘t help but think about the other person’s appearance and believe they are perfect

This is a relationship built solely on desire. We are so attracted to the other person’s appearance, charm, and material possessions that we often ignore their flaws.

We are attracted to the beauty of the other person and want to believe that he or she is perfect for us. They confuse attraction with love.

If you compare desire with love, you will realize that there is more to love than appearances. You admire her uniqueness. You do not seek perfection, but accept the other person’s weaknesses.

You don’t know the other person well enough

Days can pass without any communication. Is it easy to forgive and forget the other’s shortcomings? The fact that two people communicate on a daily basis is an obvious sign of longing.

They don’t spend quality time together, they don’t invest much in each other, and they have no problem hiding many secrets from each other. You simply don’t care much about the other person.

But if you are developing intimacy without sex, that is a sign of true love.

Have meaningful conversations with your partner

You and your partner are comfortable with each other, sharing about problems, hopes, dreams, and life in general. There are arguments, there is jealousy, but you are there for each other.

In good times and bad, loyalty and friendship are there. Don’t you want your partner to see the good side of your personality? The contrast between love and lust is a clear sign of a meaningful romantic relationship.

If you spend all your time having sex and never talk about your feelings for each other (unless it’s about sex), make sure it’s about desire.

What about the future?

At some point during a relationship, couples talk about future plans, integrate social circles, and even say the “L” word to each other. If you don’t see any of this, then it is merely wishful thinking.

If you feel the urge to know more about your partner, it means you are genuinely interested in each other. You try to introduce your partner to your family and friends.

But if something goes wrong, it means that it is not a serious relationship. In most cases it is simply a relationship based on attraction.

Seven questions you should ask yourself to know what you feel – lust vs love

Ask yourself the following questions to help you get to know yourself better:

• Am I just looking for a relationship without commitment?
• Am I just looking for a relationship without commitment?
• Am I ready to talk about what is happening between us?
• Am I willing to be who I am and share personal details?
• Do you feel a real chemistry when you do things together?
• Would you like to introduce this person to your relatives one day? Or would you prefer to just bring him or her into your own bed?
• Do you dream of a future with this person?

It’s easy to differentiate between lust and love, isn’t it? If you can answer these important questions, you will be convinced of your feelings.

Love is a true connection and datingmidnight is the gateway to a meaningful relationship

To summarize, desire can create the illusion of love. However, love is not superior to desire, and both feelings can coexist. A healthy, intimate relationship requires both.

If you are looking for a serious, long-term relationship, the only way to find out what you feel is through self-exploration.

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