How To Cope When He Prefers Friendship

Imagine you’ve been on a few dates with a guy, and now you’re eagerly anticipating the progression of the relationship. 

Then he tells you that he doesn’t want a romantic relationship but suggests being friends. 

It might feel like a nightmare scenario, but contrary to popular opinion, friendship is not a consolation prize. It’s entirely possible to maintain a fulfilling and platonic connection with someone you once dated. 

What to do when he just wants to be friends? 

Learning that he just wants to be friends can be disappointing, especially if you felt a genuine connection. 

Dealing with this situation in a healthy manner is important if there’s any hope for a potential positive development in the relationship. 

It’s not personal

You should understand that his preference for friendship may stem from his own circumstances or the absence of romantic chemistry. It’s not necessarily a reflection of you. 

It’s not your choice

You can’t pressure him to reconsider being in a relationship with you, it won’t have positive results. Respect his choice and focus on the potential for a genuine friendship. 

Move on from him

There are plenty of other opportunities for dating. Even if romance is off the table, redirect your attention to personal growth. 

Keep the friendship

If there were qualities that attracted you to him initially, those qualities can still contribute to a meaningful friendship. Make an effort to stay connected and nurture a beautiful friendship. 

Is being friends a good idea?

Everyone’s opinions on whether staying friends with someone you’ve dated is a good idea or not is different, as each relationship is unique. 

You should look at your own situation before deciding to maintain a friendship.

You should try friendship if:

  – Both of you share social or professional circles and need to remain on good terms.

  – Spending time together feels comfortable, without tension or inappropriate intimacy.

  – Friendship is valuable. 

Don’t try friendship if:

  – Lingering romantic feelings make it challenging to move on.

  – There are some warning signs in his behavior, indicating potential issues.

  – The friendship feels detrimental to your well-being. 

How to make the friendship work 

Assuming you’ve decided to pursue a friendship, consider the following tips to navigate this new dynamic: 

Have some time to adjust

Even after just one date, allow yourself the time to adjust. Rushing into a friendship prematurely may hinder the process. 

Make sure there are no lingering feelings

Regularly check in with your emotions and assess if any lingering romantic feelings persist. 

Distract yourself

Engage in work, hobbies, or spending time with friends to distract yourself from romantic thoughts. 

Boundaries

Define the boundaries of your friendship, considering how much time, energy, and physical closeness you’re comfortable with. 

Avoid replicating the same actions and behaviors from your dating phase. Clearly establish new boundaries to avoid mixed signals. 

While maintaining a friendship might be a commendable goal, it may not always be feasible. 

If your heart isn’t aligned with the idea of friendship, don’t feel guilty about ending the relationship.  

You should communicate and be honest about your feelings. Not every connection has to lead to a romantic happily ever after, but a lack of romance doesn’t necessarily mean a lack of a happy ending. 

Building a friendship from the remnants of a romantic interest can be rewarding, offering a new perspective and potential for personal growth. Don’t lose hope when he suggests being friends, as there might be other meaningful connections waiting to be discovered.